I've always thought this should have been a theme for an early 1970s sitcom. A parody at the very least. :)
I can just hear the studio audience clapping - on cue - while the opening titles roll in a garish font.
Written by none other than Keith Mansfield of Alan's "Inheritance Tracks" fame.
"This is Sports Desk, I'm Alan Partridge" (Sevendies styled.)
The Superstars theme aka Heavy Action by Johnny Pearson. I always saw Alan air drumming to it, and it did actually turn up in Stratagem.
And another by the same composer. I imagine Alan stalking through his house in the style of James Bond with this tune playing.
How a dancehall tune ended up in Stratagem I've no idea, but in a mad way it works in 'Silhouette Dance'. ;D